We'll say it again... please… stop calling your employees your work family.

Still using the term "work family"? It's time to rethink and reframe your approach.

Here’s why:

As managers, leaders, and supervisors, we strive to create a workplace where employees feel safe, comfortable, and heard. However, is it necessary to call your employees your "work family"?

We don’t think so.

Here are some reasons why you should consider retiring this term in your professional environment:

1.  Favoritism and Unethical Requests

In a family, fulfilling favors is often a given, but calling your employees your "work family," can lead to ethical dilemmas - such as:

• Unfair Coverage Requests: If a colleague who you refer to as your “work partner”, for example, asks you to help with a big work project so they can attend a personal event, this can put you in a difficult position and make you feel obligated because that is what family does for each other.
• Hiring Bias: Let’s say a fellow manager pressures you to hire a candidate they know personally. Despite the candidate not being the best fit, they want to hire them and it undermines the integrity of the hiring process. You feel obligated to go along because this fellow manager is “like family” to you --- and you have always been told that everyone is a “work family.”

2. Performance Feedback Becomes Personal

Feedback is a crucial part of professional development, but it can feel overly personal if framed within a "work family" context:

Emotional Impact: If our spouse tells us we're lazy and not helping with household chores, it might be manageable. But if your boss gives you constructive criticism, such as saying you're not efficient enough and not contributing much to the team, it can feel like a personal attack, and even lead to you feeling “psychologically unsafe” at work. Having a workplace that often talks about “work family” can lead to employees feeling anxious and affect their self-worth, which undoubtedly can then impactr one’s performance and morale.

3. You Don't Fire Your Family

Our parents can’t fire us because we made numerous mistakes over our lifetime! (Good thing, right?!) In fact, they support us despite our mistakes. Having this same ideology at work can be harmful because it could send the wrong message to managers that they should overlook work performance concerns of their employees and never fire them, even with ongoing subpar performance. Businesses must make decisions based on performance and organizational needs, not based on emotional attachment to the person. If businesses truly treated their employees like family, this would result in a lot of dysfunctional workplace, and likely put the organization out of business eventually.

Further, when it comes to layoffs and Terminations, if you had been referring to the employee as “family” up to that point, those actions could cause deep emotional distress in that person.

4. Leaving Your Job is Normal

Leaving one’s family (in whatever context) can certainly be emotionally challenging, but leaving a job, although also sometimes difficult, is still a normal part of our journey in a professional life. Employees should feel free to pursue better opportunities without the emotional burden of 'abandoning' their work family. You are not committed to your workplace forever. You can enjoy and love your job, but you don't need to stay loyal to the company at any point. After all, you are there to work, earn a paycheck, and hopefully enjoy your time. Viewing the workplace as a professional team and one phase of your life, rather than a permanent family, makes career transitions much healthier for all.

5. The truth is - your company doesn't love you.

While a company can offer great benefits, treat employees kindly, a company’s primary relationship with its employees should be to partner to complete the work as a team.

While you can form genuine friendships at work, the company itself functions as a business entity focused on mutual benefit rather than emotional “family-type” bonds.

Embrace the "Work Team" Concept

Instead of "work family," would you consider referring to your employees as your "work team"? Like a sports team, everyone works together towards a common goal while maintaining professional boundaries and hopefully enjoying the journey. This approach fosters a healthy balance between professional responsibilities and personal relationships.

Why "Work Team" Works:

• It maintains a clear line between work and personal life, reducing the risk of emotional entanglements.
• It emphasizes collaboration and shared objectives, enhancing team cohesion and productivity

In Conclusion

We'll be blunt. Calling your team or employees "work family" is a no-no.

To be clear, we are not telling you not to treat your employees kindly, or not to be friendly to them, not offer great benefits, or not recognize and celebrate them…

You should be doing all those things!

What we are stressing in this blog is simply that using that “work family” language is unhealthy, ineffective, and confusing to your employees. It blurs the lines between professional and personal relationships, leading to potential ethical issues, emotional challenges, and unrealistic (not to mention unhealthy!) expectations of them.

By adopting the "work team" mentality, you can foster a healthier, more effective work environment that respects both professional and personal boundaries. A win win, as we see it.

For more workplace relationship tips, check out our blog post Bring Your Whole Self to Work is a Misguided Concept to understand why it's not recommended to be careful with pulling too much personal life into professional settings.